Self-Compassion woman prayer flower illustration
Avery Underwood

Avery Underwood

Self-Compassion – what is it, and how can we get more of it?

Self-compassion is the foundation of self-love.

It must come first, because learning to love ourselves can take time. But by learning to be compassionate to ourselves first, this then springboards to self-acceptance, and eventually self-love.

The truth about self-love is that there are always going to be parts of ourselves that we don’t love. And that’s OK. But if we can learn to be kind to ourselves, and accept ourselves, than our lives will much happier and more fulfilling.

Self-compassion is super important in this game of personal development. I call it a game because we often take it so seriously! Personal development is FUN as we’re striving to reach our highest self. We are taking action towards a happier and more vibrant future – and that’s something to be proud of ourselves for. 

We need self-compassion in personal development because the truth is we are likely to stumble at some point. Implementing new habits, and changing our mindset is HARD. Old patterns, habits and beliefs are so ingrained in us that making new ones can be taxing and difficult. And when we do stumble, we need to be able to be compassionate to ourselves, pick ourselves up and carry on. It’s when we stumble and stop that we remain where we are. And otherwise we wouldn’t be here trying to break free of these old ways, would we?

People pleasers and perfectionists alike generally have mounds of compassion for other people, but struggle to show it for themselves. We put ourself on a pedestal of ridiculously high expectations, and when we fall short of this (and we always do!) we berate ourselves for not being good enough. It’s a fruitless mission because there is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. And the sooner we can let this go, the easier and happier our lives become.

So how can we be more self-compassionate?

Speak to yourself like you would a friend! Didn’t get up on time any day this week? No biggie! You were probably tired. Tomorrow you can wake up earlier again. Didn’t get the results you wanted on that project? That’s alright! Sometimes we swing and we miss. Better luck next time. Practicing speaking to ourselves like a best friend, eventually this voice of compassion overrides the voice of negitivity. It takes a while, but the other side is so much sweeter.

Do you speak kindly to yourself already, or do you need more of this in your life? I’d love to hear your experience with self-compassion in your life!

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