Toxic positivity self-love process emotions
Avery Underwood

Avery Underwood

Why toxic positivity is blocking true self-love

Let’s talk the harms of TOXIC POSITIVITY. Which side of this pic are you usually on?

It drives me mad in the online self-love space how fluffy it can all be sometimes. Not addressing the very real fact that a lack of self-love comes from deeeeep in your subconscious and can’t just be fixed with a “love yourself!”. But hey, that’s a discussion for another time and what coaching is for 😉

I’m all for optimism and consider myself an optimist. However, my optimistic nature has led me a lot of times to the above left 👆👆 invalidating my feelings by saying THINK POSITIVE, which only makes it worse and doesn’t address the underlying issue.

If you’re feeling down, those feelings are VALID. And if you try to mask over it with positive vibes, you’re not addressing the problem, but actually burying that feeling which ultimately always comes out eventually.

The point is, you will feel so much better if you allow yourself to feel shit, process the emotion, and then go from there. We often think when we get more self-love it means we will no longer feel negative emotions.

This is WRONG. We are HUMAN. We will always have ups and downs no matter how much more we learn to love ourselves 💜 This is ok and completely normal. Life can be hard y’all! But it’s about how we DEAL with it that makes the difference.

When we learn to love ourselves more, we are better equipped to be kind to ourselves in tough times. To give ourself a break. To feel the feels, then move on.

Which side of this pic are you usually on?

Take home note – if you are feeling down right now, give yourself a break and don’t fight the feeling and notice how different it feels. And remember, that it’s OK to not be OK 💜

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